Hold the Wheel and Drive

I will *not* be allowed to do this, guaranteed.

Maureen and I are facing a 6-hour(ish) drive on Friday, then a return 6 hours after the cruise. Although I know our amazing conversation skills will carry us through most of it (because we are, in fact, awesome), I started thinking about prepping for that part of the trip.

The essentials for any road trip, according to ehow.com:

1) Food, snacks and water: Maureen has promised me a cold Diet Coke upon my arrival to Jacksonville, and that she will have snacks packed. I figured that we would we be stopping at a grocery store and will be stopping for lunch and/or dinner. Diet Coke > water, but there should probably be some of that packed, too.

2) Battery Jumper/Jumper Cables: This is all on Maureen, as I have no idea where I will pack a battery jumper, let alone my 2nd swimsuit, in my luggage.

Look at those rockin hammer pants! Go Def Leppard!

3) Good music: This is ALL me. I love Maureen, but even she'll be the first to admit her musical knowledge is lacking. For her entire senior year at MSU/ my first year at Cooley Law, EVERY TIME we got in her car, it was playing "The Eagles Greatest Hits 1971-1975" CD because she didn't own any other CD's. Since then, I have passed down an old ipod and the woman got an iPhone- but I still send her music from time to time. I've made sure to download some new music, put some classics on there (a little "Pour Some Sugar On Me" for Maureen), and even downloaded a few episodes of This American Life. I'm ready.

4) Jack, Tire Iron, Spare Tire: Or, as I say, "having a AAA membership, where the Roadside Assistance vehicle comes and brings that stuff to you-- AND puts it on your car."

5) Travel Blanket and Pillow: I'm SO tempted to pack my MSU Snuggie now... but I probably won't. However, this is a good idea. Hopefully, Maureen is reading this and stashing a few pillows and blankets in the car for us. Can't hurt to have them on the boat, too.

6) Gas Can: I've always been taught that, if the car hits a quarter of a tank, it's time to fill up. I don't think this will be an issue... but again, I have AAA that will bring you 1-2 gallons of gasoline if you're stranded.

7) Power Inverter: Ehhhh, I don't think we'll need this. We have phone chargers and can use our computers to charge iPods. Actually, I think my car adapter will do both- charge the phone and the iPod. Magical technology, I tell you...

8) Trash Bag: Yeah, my OCD self will need one of these.

9) First Aid Kit: Band aids and Tylenol are already packed for the trip anyway. Check!

10) Camera: again, it's already charged up packed in my carry-on bag.

I added #11: Road trip games!  Maureen is probably going to kill me... BUT, I'm preparing the games!

1) Rock, Paper, Scissors- assuming she's at a stop light or can do it one-handed. What I *really* want to play is "rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock." I don't think she'll go for it...

2) Slug Bug/Pididdle- 1 point for a VW Bug, 2 points for a Woody Whacker (insert dirty, lewd comment here), first to 20 points wins. Pididdle probably won't happen since it'll be daylight while we drive, but you never know... and I don't think stripping will be as much fun in the car with 2 women, so the pididdle loser will have to do something else just as embarrassing.

3) I Spy- Traditional and may get a little boring as we drive along a stretch of highway. Plus, this may require the driver to take her eyes off the road.

4) Mad Libs- OOH I HAVE TO BUY SOME!

Like I said, I may not survive the car trip to Ft. Lauderdale... :-)

Learning to fly, but I ain't got wings

I leave in 4 days. 4 WHOLE DAYS. My next few days are jam-packed, which is probably for the best, considering that if I wasn't busy, I would be pacing the floors and refusing sleep due to the sheer excitement of it all.

From safteysign.com

I'm taking my chances this time around and flying out of Flint's Bishop International Airport. Usually, I'm a DTW kind of girl, but the flight out of Flint was much cheaper than DTW or even out of Lansing's little airport (it was almost $100 more to fly Lansing to Detroit, switch planes, go Detroit to Atlanta, switch AGAIN, then Atlanta to Jacksonville. Bleah.) I've never been there, but my mom flew out of there a few weeks ago, commenting, "this (the airport) must be the nicest place in Flint!" That doesn't surprise me. I like smaller airports with less chaos. Big plus.

Of course, I then fly into Atlanta with an almost-2 hour layover. The airport is HUGE. Last time I was there, on the Europe trip, we spent almost 8 hours perusing the concourse. My concern is, besides the cookie stand being closed, that I'll somehow get lost. I'll be tired and disorientated when getting off my (6AM) flight. There are about 6 different concourse areas, all connected with this people-mover shuttle type thing. My other concern is that I'll get distracted by the CNN store (yes, I'm a geek) and not make it to the plane in time.

I will finally land in Jacksonville at approximately noon, where the 6-hour road trip will commence. Jacksonville is ok, a mid-sized airport. Just have to make my way from the gate to the luggage claim, then find Maureen's car. Speaking of which, I have NO idea what she is driving these days. Shoot.

Daisy would KILL me if I bought this from Skymall

What to do on the flights.... I would use my laptop, but apparently you have to pay for Wi-Fi at the Atlanta airport, and Delta charges $12 for a 24 hour pass assuming your flight has Wi-Fi capabilities. After take off and landing times where electronics can't be on, I'm looking at using the internet for about 2 hours. There's always Skymall and it's ridiculous items (my recent favorite item, thanks to the Huffington Post's article, is the "wine glass holder necklace"  or the "Beer pager" - and I tried to get the guys to buy the floating poker table last summer for a party), and there's always my Kindle assuming it's charged and ready to go. I doubt sleep will happen, but a girl can try...

Any way you look at it, being bored on a plane on the way to a vacation trumps a busy day at work every single time.

St. Maarten- the stolen island

I know I did these destinations ass-backwards, but whatever- our first port of call on my upcoming cruise is Phillipsberg, St. Maarten. This is the island I keep forgetting that we're stopping at (and, at one time, I was telling people I was going to "Puerto Rico, St. Kitts, Haiti and Guam." Oops.), primarily because it doesn't sound familiar. Kind of like St. Kitts. I had no idea this place existed.

The reason I'm calling this island the "stolen island" is because I've learned that, as the Spanish closed its fort on the island in the 1600's, the French and Dutch settlers hid and, when the Spanish finally left, decided to split the land. Kind of. There were 16 different changes in who owned the island. Later, in the 1800's, there was a formal agreement signed between the Netherlands and France to share the island, and that's how it stands today. Half Dutch, half French.  The Dutch portion (south) of the island is apparently more "active" with big nightlife, casinos, and beaches where the French portion (north) has a laisse faire, sophisticated, "bathing suits optional" type of atmosphere.

View of Front Street

Phillipsberg is the Dutch-portion's capital city. In the city itself, there is Front Street- a HUGE shopping area with duty-free items being about 50-80% off the regular USA prices.According to Royal Caribbean's port guide, the only stuff to do in Phillipsberg proper is shop, visit the St. Maarten museum, Fort Amsterdam (the Spanish fort that was left behind when the Spanish decided that they didn't want the island any more), St. Maarten Park- home of many birds, and Little Bay- a snorkeling site. Meaning that most of the excursions probably take place away from Phillipsberg and maybe there WILL be a "clothing optional" beach in my near future (not me- this girl will be fully suited up, thank you very much).

It's never the cute guys who embrace the nudity...

Some of the interesting and possible excursions for St. Maarten include:

• Afternoon Beach Break at Orient Bay: 3 hours of a reserved beach chair and drink, white sandy beaches, and "nudity may be observed" - $44
• Butterfly Farm and Beach- drive across the island to the Butterfly Farm, a 1000 sq. feet exhibit of rare butterflies. "Observe mating and life cycles." After the farm, you head to (I kid you not) Boo-Boo-Jam on Orient Beach.$49
• Captain Morgan Sail and Snorkel- Not a rum-infused booze cruise, but you sail out with 24 other passengers, snorkel, swim, then sail back. 3 hour trip for $78
• Phillipsberg by Bike: "Tour the historic sites of Philipsburg by bike, including the Passangrahan Hotel, Captain Hodge's Wharf, Philipsburg courthouse, traditional West Indian cottages and Fort Amsterdam. Stop for a cold drink and rest at the popular Taloula Mango Restaurant." $52 for me doing all of the work?!
• Made in Paradise Excursion: "The tour around St. Martin includes a visit to a flavored rum factory and tasting, a visit to an authentic island perfumery, a French Caribbean cooking demonstration, and free time at the open-air Creole market or the beach." $56
• Mountain Top Downward Trek: "Starting from the highest point on the island, this tour takes hikers down through the beautiful countryside." $59
• Scenic Hike and Yoga: Just like it sounds... $54
• Sea and See Tour: "Board a semi-submarine for a 45 minute narrated tour of the underwater world. (you descend into the hull of the boat and sit in air-conditioned comfort five feet below the surface of the water, exploring sea life through the clear glass windows.) Explore and/or shop in the lovely French capital of Marigot where you will have time to explore the sidewalk cafes, open-air market and duty free shops." $49
• St. Maarten Island Tour: A guided tour with time to explore in both the French capital of Marigot and  Philipsburg. 2 1/2 hour tour for $29
• St. Maarten Beach Rendevous: Enjoy approx 3 ½ hrs at Orient Beach. Relax on your reserved chair and cushion. Complimentary rum or fruit cocktail included. Lunch (choice of 3 entrees) and beverage (beer, wine, soda, or mixed drink) included.It's adjacent to Club Orient Naturalist Resort so, again, nudity may be observed. $59
• Ultimate Island Tour: "Head to Marigot to explore and shop on a double-decker boat with great music and complimentary drinks" 4 hour tour and shopping for $56
• Tiki Hut Snorkel Park:  "Snorkel in the Caribbean Sea with shipwrecks and cannons or in a protected 5 feet deep pool for beginners. Snorkel equipment and instruction is provided." $69

So, again, I have to pay for a beach or just shop. Weird... but ok. Plus, who wants to swim in the French Rivera? I DO! And, of course, I plan on giggling at the clothing-optional beaches.

And, I like that some of these packages offer you at least a drink- some even offer lunch. In St. Maarten, there is a guavaberry rum that they are famous for- I've already been told to bring some of that back to the States with me.If I don't drink it all on the drive back to the Jacksonville Airport...

Haiti...Wait. What?

Port au Prince is in southern  Haiti... I'm goin' north

When Maureen first told me that one of our stops on the cruise was Haiti, I almost did a spit-take (likely involving Diet Coke, because, let's face it- it's my crack). Anyone else remember the huge disaster that struck Haiti about 2-4 years ago? Remember all of the fundraisers, all of the good people of the world going overseas to help rebuild cities and rescue survivors? This was going to be a part of my vacation?

Not that I wouldn't love to go and help, but apparently Royal Caribbean would like to take us to a *different* portion of Haiti, one that the cruise line leases (which is so weird to me), one that is on the complete opposite part of the island that was hit the hardest.

Dare me to swim back to the boat??

Our last port of call is Labadee, Haiti. Leased by Royal Caribbean, Labadee is near the town of Labadie, which was named for French money-maker Marquis de La'Badie. La'Badie made his dough by provisioning boats that came to and from the city. While Labadie may have rich culture, we do not have the chance to really visit it. Rather, this stop is a "Caribbean paradise," lined with beaches, water activities, cool rum drinks, and sun.

The big pulls to this location?

• Aqua Park - Icebergs (?!) in the Caribbean at the Arawak Aqua Park. Enjoy bouncing on the giant floating trampolines, water slides, rolling log, and many other water toys that will keep you cool while having fun. $15
• Aqua park and Dragon's Tail Roller coaster: water park plus a 3-5 minute ride on an "alpine coaster" $29
• Snorkel Adventure: $69. 
• Rent a Beach Cabana: floating mats, private cabana, upgraded lunch, personal attendant service. $175-200 (per cabana, not per person)
• Castaway at Malfini- trip to a private beach for the day (20 minute boat ride) $65
• Discover Haiti Coastal Tour:  Narrated boat tour of the coast $45
• Dragon's Breath Flight Line: Soar over the beaches at 500 ft above ground, going 40-50 MPH, covering 2600 feet of beach. HELL NO! I'm scared just reading about it! $85
• Dragon Tail Coaster- all day riding privileges for $40, or a one-time ride for $19
• Rent a beach mat- $12
• Haitian Culture Tour and Beach Break - Short ride to Le Village at Paradise Cove and a stop at Paradise Cove Beach $65
• Hydro Express 45 minute boat tour- $42
• Kayak Tour- $32 for 90 minute kayak rental
• Labadee historic tour- Wait. This area isn't too known for its history. But, you can walk around, listen to a history lecture, hear Dragon's Rock "breathe" and visit Nelli's Tower. $18
• Snorkel Safari- Not sure how this is different from the other snorkeling... $47
• Wave Jet Tours (waverunners): driver pays $85, but if you just want to sit and observe on the back of a waverunner, it's $29.
• Parasail: OK, this I may want to do. 5-6 minutes of parasailing (plus a 45 minute boat ride) 400 feet above the water. $79
• Sandbar Adult Getaway: Catamaran ride to the sandbar, stand in the middle of the ocean, relax on a beach mat. Booze involved. $49

Seems like there is a lot to do, but what if a girl just wants to sit in a hammock and nap?? There is a baazar shopping area (open market), and YES there are FREE chairs lined up at the beach by the boat dock. There are even some hammocks placed around the beach. And, lunch is provided while on the island by the ship's chefs. I can handle that.

I'm ready to go... but I may need to go and buy an extra swimsuit or two :-)

Please? 

Rainforests, ATV's, Beaches, and St. Kitts

The island looks like a chicken leg.

So...I know NOTHING about St. Kitts. I didn't even know it existed until Maureen told me its on our itinerary. Maureen's presentation on the ship about St. Kitts is about the religious diversity on the island. I'm all for diversity and religion, and the two mixing, but I'm hoping that there is more to this island...

I learned that the name "St. Kitts" is actually short for "St. Christopher" - when Christopher Columbus discovered the island back in the day, he named it for himself -or, as he claimed, for his patron saint. After there was a British colony officially established there in the mid 1800's, the Brits began calling it "St. Kitts" as a nickname. The name eventually stuck.

Apparently St. Kitts is known for its clear waters (bordering the Atlantic Ocean on one side and the Caribbean Sea on the other 3) and having  hosted the 2007 Cricket World Cup. I'll be honest- I'm interested in the beaches, not so much interested in cricket.

We are visiting Basseterre, which is the capital of St. Kitts. The port guide from Royal Caribbean recommends visiting a few churches, The Circus (main shopping area), and a few historical places that were allegedly used in the slave trade in the 1800's. I'm a little concerned that the port guide doesn't mention a beach outside of the capital that is easily accessible. We're docked from 7am-5pm, so we have the entire day on the island if we so choose.

I reviewed the excursions that Royal Caribbean is offering for this trip. Of course, there's a few beach ones...all for a cost... I highlighted the ones I was the most interested in (I added the costs when evaluating ALL of my choices since I'm still a girl on a budget. But really, how often does someone get the chance to walk up a dormant volcano? Money, while an object, can't compare to experiences sometimes).

• Beach Extravaganza: you take a ride to a resort beach area, where you have a beach chair and drink reserved for you. They recommend it is a 3.5-4 hour excursion. $44 for the ride/drink/chair reservation (though I kind of object to having to pay to sit on a beach)

• Caribbean Cooks- watch and learn about Caribbean cooking and of course, spend the time sampling foods and touring the grounds. $79
• Caribbean Plantation and Beach: Car trip through Basseterre to tour a plantation, drive to a stop in Timothy Hill (scenic stop), then a swim stop at Frigate Bay Beach. $54
• Caribbean Scenic Rail: a chance to see the entire island by rail (you get a top and bottom seat) in 3 hours. $99-$149 (you can take an extra hour and take a catamaran around part of the island as well)
• Catamaran Fan-Ta-Sea: take a catamaran to snorkel in "Shitten Bay" (HAHAHAHA), travel through the Narrows (channel between St. Kitts and Neven, its sister island), and lunch on Pinney's Beach. $104
• Deep Sea Fishing: 4 hour fishing tour $175
• Eco Explorer: Nature walk/hike up the Wingfield River, the largest source of spring water in St. Kitts. $57
• Plantation and Afternoon Tea: walk around a house, have some tea. $56-$89. It's cheaper if you skip the tea and go straight to the beach, so of course, I'll skip the $30 tea. 
• 4x4 Adventure: Sight seeing tour, riding in a British 4x4 across the island. Stop at Cockelshell Bay for a swim. $59
• Mt. Liamuiga Hike: Hike 3000 feet above sea level on a dormant volcano, light picnic lunch at the summit, and panoramic views. 6 hour trip, including car ride, $99
• Mountain Biking and Beach tour: Just like it sounds.. $78
• Nature Kayaking: again, just like it sounds. $79
• Panoramic St. Kitts: Driving around, taking pictures for 2 hours. $49
• ATV and beach trip (!!): Drive through cane fields and back roads, then a trip to the beach. 4 hour trip (including beach stop) $99
• Golf: PASS. $145
• Zip line: I've been told to do this, and I *highly* doubt I will (I don't think the cord can support my weight!!) "sit back and fly along the lines up to 1,400 feet in length, 25 stories above the ground" $79
• Snorkeling: $69
• SNUBA (yes, SNUBA) diving- shallow water diving for 50 minutes, plus some beach time. Don't need to be a SCUBA diver to try it! $79
• Rainforest Adventure:  Romney Manor, a brief visit at Caribelle, then hike the Wingfield Forest Trail. "See a rainforest alive with exotic plants like heliconias bamboo, ferns, palms and elephant ears that festoon the area. Sample some of the local fruits along the way. The area is also abundantly alive with caterpillars and colorful lizards." 4 hour trip for $67
• Essential St. Kitts Tour: Visit to Independence Square, The Anglican Church, War Memorial, Caribelle Batik at Romney Manor, and visit Brimstone Hill Fortress. $49

Base of Mt. Liamuiga

I've just realized that I want to do ACTIVE stuff while on this island. The beach mentality is leaving... nooo! I really like  the idea of going up to the summit of a dormant volcano because that's just awesome sounding. I really like the idea of walking through a rainforest too (with a guide, of course). Neither of those involve a beach. My problem is, after one of those tours, I'm really going to want to just lie on a beach and be lazy. I guess I can just plan on being lazy on the ship...!

I learned that the island has a specialty drink called a Cane Spirit Rothschild. The drink apparently is a cross between vodka and white rum. It's made with locally grown sugar cane, too. And, of course, I discovered their food specialty: a Conkie. Sounds dirty and offensive- of course I plan on trying it. A Conkie is dough filled with a mix of sweet potatoes, coconut, brown sugar, raisins, nutmeg, milk, and pumpkin. The dough is then wrapped in banana leaves and boiled.

The dream? Driving a 4x4 through the rainforest, ending up at a beach, with a hot man waiting for me with a beach chair, Cane Spirit Rothschild and a Conkie. One can only hope.